Once again, I'm late to post! My sincerest apologies. I'm still figuring out what exactly I want to do with the blog and such, but things should even out as we go on.
So, today we come to the last part of 111, love yourself. Now, at first, that sounds awfully self-centered. I'm definitely not trying to promote narcissism here; we should not be so obsessed with ourselves that we forget to think of God or others. But, implied in the mandate to "love our neighbor as [ourselves]," it is implied that we do need to have some level of self-love. To put it mathematically (I'm a bit geeky like that),
Love for Neighbor = Love for Self
So, if we have no love for ourselves (or if Love for Self = 0), then
Love for Neighbor = 0
Which is bad.
---
Alright, now that we've spent more time than is probably necessary discussing how it's okay to love ourselves, let's apply the other ongoing theme of these posts: forgiveness. Just as we must seek forgiveness from God and be willing to forgive others, we must also be willing to forgive ourselves.
How does this work? Well, let's go back to the first story I shared, about saying something embarrassing on 9/11. Quite frankly, I messed up there. Sure, I was only about 8 at the time and I didn't completely understand what was going on, but I still get a bit embarrassed when I think about what happened. And, I've kept making similar mistakes, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, over the course of my life (I just did it this morning at the breakfast table). Now, I could start obsessing over these things. I could start thinking about them every day, focusing on how wrong I was and how things could have gone so much better if I'd have said something else. I could dwell on all the shame and remorse I feel. I could feel pretty lousy about myself in general.
Sound familiar? It's the same principle as the rosebush from last week. In fact, let's use another example from my life (someone's loving himself a bit too much here): in elementary school once, I stabbed a freshly sharpened pencil in to my index finger. How that happened, I have no idea, but one second I was holding the pencil in my right hand and the next it was stuck in my left. Instinctively, I shook the pencil out, breaking the lead and leaving some inside my finger. I promptly went to the bathroom to clean out the wound, but I suspect that some of the lead is still inside, especially since there's still a dark spot on my finger nearly 10 years later.
So, that was something that was self-inflicted, and it hurt, a lot. Not only did I injure myself, but I carry a reminder of it every day, probably for the rest of my life. But, what do I do about it?
I accept that I'm not perfect. I realize that sometimes things happen like that. I analyze what happened and make sure I don't do it again. And then, I move on. I Keep Moving Forward.
Whether it be stabbing ourselves with pencils or saying something we shouldn't or whatever else, we're all likely going to feel a bit ashamed of things we've done. But, just as we must recognize that others aren't perfect and seek to forgive them, we also need to recognize that we, too, make mistakes, and can be forgiven of them.
I've talked a lot about myself in this post, and I'm sorry for that, but I just have to express how much I know that this principle is true. I've lost sleep about things I've done before, about my imperfections. I've been a terrible critic of myself. But I've also felt the wonderful peace of mind and self-confidence that comes from letting things go, from forgiving myself. You can be your own worst enemy, but it feels a lot better to be your own best friend.
I know that God lives and loves us. I know that Jesus Christ atoned for all pain, self-inflicted or not. And I know that God wants us to love ourselves, imperfect though we may be, and that Jesus Christ knows how to help us move past our pain. I'm very thankful for the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ (info here. I had to get a Mormon.org link in there somewhere), that has let me feel more peace and love in my life. I say these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, thus concludes 111! Thanks for reading! I hope this has helped brighten your week, even if only a little bit.
Keep Moving Forward!
-Elder Richmond
Friday, June 21, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
111: Love Each Other
Welcome back! My apologies for being a day late. While we plan out every day as a missionary, sometimes even we get thrown curveballs and deviate from our plans in order to help those in need. But, we are all set for today.
I'll start out this portion of 111 with another story, this one much more recent. I was with another missionary, and he asked to borrow some shoe-shining supplies since we were staying in my apartment. I said that was perfectly fine. Using some materials from my kit, and some that a previous missionary had left behind, he shined his shoes. As we were leaving the apartment, I noted that he'd put some of the older missionary's supplies into a bag to take with him. I didn't have a problem with that. However, I also noticed a small buffering cloth in his bag that looked awfully like one of mine. I was a bit suspicious, but didn't jump to any conclusions until I was back at my apartment later, with another missionary. Sure enough, I checked my shoe-shining kit, and one of the cloths was missing.
And that really bugged me.
We'll come back to the story later.
So, going back to the original post, the second great commandment that Jesus taught us is that we love our neighbors (i.e. everyone around us) as we love ourselves. For some people, we find that very easy. For others, we find that very hard. They hurt us with their words and actions. They stress us out. In a perfect world (not this one), everyone would treat each other with love and kindness, and hurt feelings would not exist. That world, though, won't come for a while (although it will eventually come). In the meantime, we need to learn how we can keep living with people we'd rather not have anything to do with.
First, we need to understand that nobody is perfect. To bring back the scripture from last time, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Due to a lack of knowledge or understanding, or perhaps even because of malicious intentions, people are going to end up hurting us. So what do we do? Do we mourn our social injuries, constantly bringing back the hurt we've felt? Do we get angry, despising the person at fault?
Let's use a metaphor. Say you see a rosebush, and you stop to admire the flowers. As you go to touch the blossoms, though, a thorn pricks your thumb and sticks in it. What do you do? Do you stare at the wound, tears in your eyes, wishing for the pure, unhurt thumb you had before? Do you spitefully leave the thorn in the wound, using the pain to fuel your plans to take a chainsaw to the bush?
Or do you calmly take out the thorn, step inside to get a bandage, treat the hurt, and go back to looking at flowers?
We firstly can't wallow in self-pity, longing for the happy selves we were before we were hurt. Some people believe that the world would be better if nothing bad ever happened to us at all. We know, though, through the Book of Mormon, that pain and trials are part of this life, and they help us grow (See 2 Nephi 2:27). We also shouldn't let the offending words and actions become the focus of our lives. The wound will never heal if we refuse to take out the thorn, and we shouldn't get angry at the imperfect nature of the thornbush for hurting us.
What we should do is forgive. Recognize that nobody is perfect, and be willing to move on and keep associating with those who have harmed us. As we do so, we find that we are free, that we don't let the words or actions of others define us. As stated by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2nd Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, "We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness" (See, "Of Regrets and Resolutions").
As well, God has commanded us to forgive, or to be merciful. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:7: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." He demonstrated this principle in the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (see Matthew 18:21-35). In short, since we all depend on God for mercy (as discussed last time), we must also be ready and willing to extend mercy to all of those around us, be they friend or foe.
I know this is a bit hard to swallow. But, as in my story about the shoe cloth, I've obsessed over the actions of another person, and it just doesn't make me feel good. There have been other circumstances as well, in which I've become so focused on what another person has done or said that it becomes hard for me to think of anything else. But I've found freedom and happiness through letting these things go. It is hard; I've prayed for a lot of strength at times to do this. But, in the end, the past is the past. A shoe cloth is just a shoe cloth, and we'll all feel a lot happier when we're willing to let it go.
I know that God lives and loves us. I know he wants to forgive us, and he wants us to forgive others. I know that as we do these things, a greater light and happiness will enter into our lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, just one more installment of 111! See you there next week (and hopefully on time)!
-Elder Richmond
I'll start out this portion of 111 with another story, this one much more recent. I was with another missionary, and he asked to borrow some shoe-shining supplies since we were staying in my apartment. I said that was perfectly fine. Using some materials from my kit, and some that a previous missionary had left behind, he shined his shoes. As we were leaving the apartment, I noted that he'd put some of the older missionary's supplies into a bag to take with him. I didn't have a problem with that. However, I also noticed a small buffering cloth in his bag that looked awfully like one of mine. I was a bit suspicious, but didn't jump to any conclusions until I was back at my apartment later, with another missionary. Sure enough, I checked my shoe-shining kit, and one of the cloths was missing.
And that really bugged me.
We'll come back to the story later.
So, going back to the original post, the second great commandment that Jesus taught us is that we love our neighbors (i.e. everyone around us) as we love ourselves. For some people, we find that very easy. For others, we find that very hard. They hurt us with their words and actions. They stress us out. In a perfect world (not this one), everyone would treat each other with love and kindness, and hurt feelings would not exist. That world, though, won't come for a while (although it will eventually come). In the meantime, we need to learn how we can keep living with people we'd rather not have anything to do with.
First, we need to understand that nobody is perfect. To bring back the scripture from last time, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Due to a lack of knowledge or understanding, or perhaps even because of malicious intentions, people are going to end up hurting us. So what do we do? Do we mourn our social injuries, constantly bringing back the hurt we've felt? Do we get angry, despising the person at fault?
Let's use a metaphor. Say you see a rosebush, and you stop to admire the flowers. As you go to touch the blossoms, though, a thorn pricks your thumb and sticks in it. What do you do? Do you stare at the wound, tears in your eyes, wishing for the pure, unhurt thumb you had before? Do you spitefully leave the thorn in the wound, using the pain to fuel your plans to take a chainsaw to the bush?
Or do you calmly take out the thorn, step inside to get a bandage, treat the hurt, and go back to looking at flowers?
We firstly can't wallow in self-pity, longing for the happy selves we were before we were hurt. Some people believe that the world would be better if nothing bad ever happened to us at all. We know, though, through the Book of Mormon, that pain and trials are part of this life, and they help us grow (See 2 Nephi 2:27). We also shouldn't let the offending words and actions become the focus of our lives. The wound will never heal if we refuse to take out the thorn, and we shouldn't get angry at the imperfect nature of the thornbush for hurting us.
What we should do is forgive. Recognize that nobody is perfect, and be willing to move on and keep associating with those who have harmed us. As we do so, we find that we are free, that we don't let the words or actions of others define us. As stated by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2nd Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, "We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness" (See, "Of Regrets and Resolutions").
As well, God has commanded us to forgive, or to be merciful. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:7: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." He demonstrated this principle in the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (see Matthew 18:21-35). In short, since we all depend on God for mercy (as discussed last time), we must also be ready and willing to extend mercy to all of those around us, be they friend or foe.
I know this is a bit hard to swallow. But, as in my story about the shoe cloth, I've obsessed over the actions of another person, and it just doesn't make me feel good. There have been other circumstances as well, in which I've become so focused on what another person has done or said that it becomes hard for me to think of anything else. But I've found freedom and happiness through letting these things go. It is hard; I've prayed for a lot of strength at times to do this. But, in the end, the past is the past. A shoe cloth is just a shoe cloth, and we'll all feel a lot happier when we're willing to let it go.
I know that God lives and loves us. I know he wants to forgive us, and he wants us to forgive others. I know that as we do these things, a greater light and happiness will enter into our lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, just one more installment of 111! See you there next week (and hopefully on time)!
-Elder Richmond
Thursday, June 6, 2013
111: Love God
So, we'll start out the post this week with a story.
My mom woke me up later than usual on September 11, 2001. As I climbed out of bed, she told me that my Grandma had called and told us to turn on the news. Gathered together in the family room, we all watched the footage of the planes crashing into the World Trade Centers. Frankly, I wasn't exactly sure what was happening. The gravity of the situation was lost on me. Eventually, I made it to school. As I walked into class, I offered my 3rd grade teacher an explanation of why I was late. I said:
"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Anderson. I was watching people blow up our government."
She quietly said "It's alright" and then told me to take my seat.
Flash forward more than a decade, and I feel a bit embarrassed about what I said. Maybe even a bit ashamed. I don't beat myself up about it (I wasn't quite 9 then), but the feeling lingers.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the last time I said something I would later regret. I often tend to speak before I think, it seems, and that leads to me putting my foot in my mouth a lot more often than I'd like. Awkward things are said, words are misunderstood, feelings get hurt. All of these, like my 9/11 experience, leave me feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed.
I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone. Perhaps not everyone has said something they shouldn't have, like me, but, as imperfect human beings, everyone has done something that's made them feel a bit guilty or ashamed (see Romans 3:23). Hopefully it only happens once in awhile; however, sometimes we have bad weeks, and we get rather weighted down with everything we've done in the week. These feelings, if not attended to, can make us tired, make us downhearted. We don't think we'll ever be able to pick ourselves back up again.
So, what are we to do? And how does all this tie in to forgiveness and 111? It's simple: by asking our Heavenly Father for forgiveness, we can start the process of getting rid of these feelings of regret and remorse.
Physical pain is a type of warning for the body: it lets us know that something's wrong, that we're not doing something right (like not eating for too long or failing to avoid the soccer ball that smacks us in the face). Guilt is the same for our spirits. When we do something in a way that God doesn't want us to do it, we feel guilt as a result.
Fortunately for us, we have a way (called "The Gospel of Jesus Christ" (see this page here, starting with the subheading "Faith in Jesus Christ)) to relieve ourselves of these feelings. We first believe that such a thing is possible. Then, as part of the process of leaving that action behind, we ask forgiveness from Heavenly Father for doing something wrong. It takes humility, but I can testify to you all that it works. I've felt my burdens lifted as I've asked God to forgive me, to give me another chance. He is merciful, and if we promise that we'll try our best to do better (through "covenants," or two-way promises. See the above link), he promises us that he'll forget our sins and help us feel better (see D&C 58:42).
If you find yourself bogged down with your mistakes and your regrets, I urge you to pray. To ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness and relief. As you take the right steps to do better, you'll feel a wonderful peace of conscious. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, that's it for this week! We'll continue 111 next week, talking about how forgiveness applies to all those around us. See you then!
-Elder Richmond
My mom woke me up later than usual on September 11, 2001. As I climbed out of bed, she told me that my Grandma had called and told us to turn on the news. Gathered together in the family room, we all watched the footage of the planes crashing into the World Trade Centers. Frankly, I wasn't exactly sure what was happening. The gravity of the situation was lost on me. Eventually, I made it to school. As I walked into class, I offered my 3rd grade teacher an explanation of why I was late. I said:
"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Anderson. I was watching people blow up our government."
She quietly said "It's alright" and then told me to take my seat.
Flash forward more than a decade, and I feel a bit embarrassed about what I said. Maybe even a bit ashamed. I don't beat myself up about it (I wasn't quite 9 then), but the feeling lingers.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the last time I said something I would later regret. I often tend to speak before I think, it seems, and that leads to me putting my foot in my mouth a lot more often than I'd like. Awkward things are said, words are misunderstood, feelings get hurt. All of these, like my 9/11 experience, leave me feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed.
I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone. Perhaps not everyone has said something they shouldn't have, like me, but, as imperfect human beings, everyone has done something that's made them feel a bit guilty or ashamed (see Romans 3:23). Hopefully it only happens once in awhile; however, sometimes we have bad weeks, and we get rather weighted down with everything we've done in the week. These feelings, if not attended to, can make us tired, make us downhearted. We don't think we'll ever be able to pick ourselves back up again.
So, what are we to do? And how does all this tie in to forgiveness and 111? It's simple: by asking our Heavenly Father for forgiveness, we can start the process of getting rid of these feelings of regret and remorse.
Physical pain is a type of warning for the body: it lets us know that something's wrong, that we're not doing something right (like not eating for too long or failing to avoid the soccer ball that smacks us in the face). Guilt is the same for our spirits. When we do something in a way that God doesn't want us to do it, we feel guilt as a result.
Fortunately for us, we have a way (called "The Gospel of Jesus Christ" (see this page here, starting with the subheading "Faith in Jesus Christ)) to relieve ourselves of these feelings. We first believe that such a thing is possible. Then, as part of the process of leaving that action behind, we ask forgiveness from Heavenly Father for doing something wrong. It takes humility, but I can testify to you all that it works. I've felt my burdens lifted as I've asked God to forgive me, to give me another chance. He is merciful, and if we promise that we'll try our best to do better (through "covenants," or two-way promises. See the above link), he promises us that he'll forget our sins and help us feel better (see D&C 58:42).
If you find yourself bogged down with your mistakes and your regrets, I urge you to pray. To ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness and relief. As you take the right steps to do better, you'll feel a wonderful peace of conscious. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, that's it for this week! We'll continue 111 next week, talking about how forgiveness applies to all those around us. See you then!
-Elder Richmond
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