Welcome back! My apologies for being a day late. While we plan out every day as a missionary, sometimes even we get thrown curveballs and deviate from our plans in order to help those in need. But, we are all set for today.
I'll start out this portion of 111 with another story, this one much more recent. I was with another missionary, and he asked to borrow some shoe-shining supplies since we were staying in my apartment. I said that was perfectly fine. Using some materials from my kit, and some that a previous missionary had left behind, he shined his shoes. As we were leaving the apartment, I noted that he'd put some of the older missionary's supplies into a bag to take with him. I didn't have a problem with that. However, I also noticed a small buffering cloth in his bag that looked awfully like one of mine. I was a bit suspicious, but didn't jump to any conclusions until I was back at my apartment later, with another missionary. Sure enough, I checked my shoe-shining kit, and one of the cloths was missing.
And that really bugged me.
We'll come back to the story later.
So, going back to the original post, the second great commandment that Jesus taught us is that we love our neighbors (i.e. everyone around us) as we love ourselves. For some people, we find that very easy. For others, we find that very hard. They hurt us with their words and actions. They stress us out. In a perfect world (not this one), everyone would treat each other with love and kindness, and hurt feelings would not exist. That world, though, won't come for a while (although it will eventually come). In the meantime, we need to learn how we can keep living with people we'd rather not have anything to do with.
First, we need to understand that nobody is perfect. To bring back the scripture from last time, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Due to a lack of knowledge or understanding, or perhaps even because of malicious intentions, people are going to end up hurting us. So what do we do? Do we mourn our social injuries, constantly bringing back the hurt we've felt? Do we get angry, despising the person at fault?
Let's use a metaphor. Say you see a rosebush, and you stop to admire the flowers. As you go to touch the blossoms, though, a thorn pricks your thumb and sticks in it. What do you do? Do you stare at the wound, tears in your eyes, wishing for the pure, unhurt thumb you had before? Do you spitefully leave the thorn in the wound, using the pain to fuel your plans to take a chainsaw to the bush?
Or do you calmly take out the thorn, step inside to get a bandage, treat the hurt, and go back to looking at flowers?
We firstly can't wallow in self-pity, longing for the happy selves we were before we were hurt. Some people believe that the world would be better if nothing bad ever happened to us at all. We know, though, through the Book of Mormon, that pain and trials are part of this life, and they help us grow (See 2 Nephi 2:27). We also shouldn't let the offending words and actions become the focus of our lives. The wound will never heal if we refuse to take out the thorn, and we shouldn't get angry at the imperfect nature of the thornbush for hurting us.
What we should do is forgive. Recognize that nobody is perfect, and be willing to move on and keep associating with those who have harmed us. As we do so, we find that we are free, that we don't let the words or actions of others define us. As stated by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2nd Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, "We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness" (See, "Of Regrets and Resolutions").
As well, God has commanded us to forgive, or to be merciful. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:7: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." He demonstrated this principle in the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (see Matthew 18:21-35). In short, since we all depend on God for mercy (as discussed last time), we must also be ready and willing to extend mercy to all of those around us, be they friend or foe.
I know this is a bit hard to swallow. But, as in my story about the shoe cloth, I've obsessed over the actions of another person, and it just doesn't make me feel good. There have been other circumstances as well, in which I've become so focused on what another person has done or said that it becomes hard for me to think of anything else. But I've found freedom and happiness through letting these things go. It is hard; I've prayed for a lot of strength at times to do this. But, in the end, the past is the past. A shoe cloth is just a shoe cloth, and we'll all feel a lot happier when we're willing to let it go.
I know that God lives and loves us. I know he wants to forgive us, and he wants us to forgive others. I know that as we do these things, a greater light and happiness will enter into our lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Well, just one more installment of 111! See you there next week (and hopefully on time)!
-Elder Richmond
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