Think On These Things: Amulek's Wife

[This is probably going to be another long one. Just warning you right off the bat.]

Humor me for a minute: I want to talk about a character in the Book of Mormon who isn't named and receives a vague enough mention in just a couple of verses that it's possible that she doesn't exist at all.

I want to talk about Amulek's wife. I'll explain why later.

Refresher: Amulek was the longtime missionary companion of Alma the Younger. The two met shortly after Alma gave up the position of High Priest over the people of Nephi in order to travel the land and preach the word of God. After some profoundly affecting experiences (which we'll discuss in a bit), Amulek decided to join Alma in his life-long preaching mission. The last we hear of him is his sermon on prayer and repentance (Alma 34), given to the poor people in Antionum.

Now, what do we know about his wife?

First, let's look at Alma 10:11, where Amulek describes his interactions with Alma:

For behold, he hath blessed mine house, he hath blessed me, and my women, and my children, and my father and my kinsfolk; yea, even all my kindred hath he blessed, and the blessing of the Lord hath rested upon us according to the words which he spake. [emphasis mine]

The phrasing here is interesting: is Amulek admitting to practicing polygamy? There's somewhat of a precedent set before amongst wicked Nephites like those in Ammonihah (see Jacob 2), but it seems like such an isolated incident that I'm not sure that's what's going on. Additionally, in Spanish the phrasing used is more akin to "the women of my house," which is less possessive and seems to imply other women (grown children, extended family) who were simply living in Amulek's abode. Whatever that case may be, it seems that Amulek had at least one wife, since he mentions that Alma blessed his children (which do not simply spring up into existence on their own).

Now, let's look at another verse, which takes place after the events of Ammonihah (which we'll get around to. Let's see how many balls I can keep in the air before you lose interest):

Now as I said, Alma having seen all these things, therefore he took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord. (Alma 15:18)

After everything that happened in Ammonihah, Alma takes Amulek back to his (Alma's) own house to rest and recuperate from what they went through. What strikes me here is that it very much sounds like Amulek went there alone, without all of the friends and family he described earlier. Why would this be?

I've come up with a few theories. The first (which I'll come back to a lot) is that this discrepancy is just due to the writing/editing of the Book of Mormon. For whatever reason, the creators and compilers of the Book of Mormon did not mention women, even when it's apparent that they had to have played a part. For instance, take Alma: in Alma 31 and the subsequent chapters we read about Alma's sons, but nowhere do we even find a mention of his wife. Clearly she has to have existed, and I imagine that her influence on her sons was just as defining as Alma's was, but for whatever reason, she was left out of the narrative.

So, again, there's our first possibility: Amulek took his entire family to Alma's house, and the record simply didn't mention anyone except Amulek. If we take in more evidence and conjecture a bit more, though, other options reveal themselves.

In fact, in the light of another scripture, we can debunk/clarify at least part of the first theory. Here's Alma 15:16:

And it came to pass that Alma and Amulek, Amulek having forsaken all his gold, and silver, and his precious things, which were in the land of Ammonihah, for the word of God, he being rejected by those who were once his friends and also by his father and his kindred...

Amulek's stance in what happened in Ammonihah (we're getting there, I promise) was pretty radical. It was in such opposition to his former way of life that he was disowned by his father, his friends, and a large part of his family. So, even if Amulek didn't go alone to live with Alma for a spell, he definitely left behind a large part of his former support network, which is sad to contemplate.

However, it's also possible that this scripture meant to imply that he was abandoned by everyone, including his immediate family. It could be that even his own wife and children turned their backs on him before he was expelled from the city, leaving him alone with Alma. If this is what happened, then Amulek might have felt the sting of their loss twice over, as all of the people in the city of Ammonihah were killed by Lamanites shortly after the whole affair (Alma 16:1-3). As we discussed, Amulek definitely had some former friends and family in Ammonihah, but if he went to Zarahemla alone, then it's possible that he lost everyone he had cared about in that attack, never to be seen again in this life.

So now we have two possibilities as to the fate of Amulek's wife: she may have accompanied him to Alma's house, or she may have stayed in Ammonihah and perished in the Lamanite attack.

But there's one other possibility I can glean from this account.

Before I get into it, I just need to stress something: what happened in Ammonihah, what I'm about to talk about, is not pleasant. It is inhumane and cruel. Because of the language of the scriptures, it is not something that I think most people tend to dwell on, and it is not something that I particularly like to dwell on. However, the point of this whole post, the lesson I want to get across, came about exactly because I did dwell on this scene one day. So, just know that, like Mormon, I do not desire to harrow up the souls of men and women by describing these things, but also like Mormon, I do so because it serves a purpose.

So, with that in mind, let's get into what happened in Ammonihah:

Alma entered the city with the intent to preach, to bring people to repentance. The people didn't recognize his authority and threw him out of the city almost immediately. Commanded by an angel to return, he met Amulek and, after spending time with him, converted him to the cause. Alma went back to preaching, this time supported by Amulek, an insider. They debated at length with a lawyer named Zeezrom, and they eventually convinced him of the truth of their words. Some people saw this and began to believe, but the majority only became more enraged as they watched Zeezrom concede the debate. They reacted violently, accosting Alma and Amulek and binding them while they drove the rest of the men who believed from the city and into the wilderness.

The mob then stormed the houses of all of these men, capturing their wives and children and seizing all copies of the scriptures they could find. They created their very own "lake of fire and brimstone" (see Alma 14:4), likely a pit dug into the earth and then set ablaze. Having accomplished this, they threw all of the scriptures into the pit to be destroyed. Having accomplished that, they threw the captured women and children into the pit as well to die by being burned alive.

I don't want to beleaguer the point, but these were not quick deaths. They were not painless deaths. Those cast into the pit found themselves thrust into a literal hell, forced to witness the agonizing deaths of their friends and children while being consumed by pain and flame themselves.

In our third scenario, this is the fate that Amulek's wife and his children suffered. Death by fire.

Why bring this possibility up? Why paint such an awful scene of horror and pain?

Alma 14:9-10:

And it came to pass that they took Alma and Amulek, and carried them forth to the place of martyrdom, that they might witness the destruction of those who were consumed by fire.
And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained...[emphasis mine]

I don't think that quite adequately sums up how he felt.

---

I know what you may be thinking, the idea I may have placed in your mind: Amulek watched his family die in those two verses.

Personally, I don't think that's actually the case. If the Book of Mormon were some great work of fiction, some grand drama envisioned by an enterprising author, I might believe it. But here we come to the reason I even bother bringing any of this up:

The Book of Mormon is not a work of fiction. It is not just a story. Amulek is more than just a name on a page: Amulek was a man, a man with real emotions and experiences. A man who, while he may not have personally witnessed the death of his own family, witnessed the horrifying martyrdom of many innocent women and children, and so cried out:

How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.

Alma was a man as well, a man who, while he may not have had a personal investment in this crisis, was still looking down into the faces of women and children perishing in the flames, crying "Save us!" with their eyes if not also with their smoke-filled lungs. He was a man filled with every possible amount of human compassion and empathy as the rest of us, which gives new weight to his response:

The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand...

Alma knew of the power of God to save from both physical and spiritual peril; he experienced it firsthand. He knew that, if it were God's will, he could command the fire to cease and the believers to be delivered from the pit. But at that moment, he knew it was God's will that these His children return to His presence, and so fighting against every natural impulse and instinct for compassion, he stayed his hand. Amulek, disheartened, wondered aloud if they would be burned as well once the others were consumed. Alma noted that their captors made no moves to do so, and so resignedly concluded that their work was not yet done.

---

In the end, I don't think we're actually any closer to knowing what happened to Amulek's wife than we were in the beginning. I don't claim any sort of authority in laying out these possibilities. And, really, that's not what matters, that's not why I wrote this post. I wrote this post because considering the possibility that Amulek's wife might have perished in the fire allowed me to see him and Alma, not as characters in a story, but as humans who lived out their lives on this earth. It's been said that there are only two classes of people in our lives: those whom we love, and the rest, whom we don't yet know. And what better way to come to know someone than to see their suffering and their trials through their own eyes?

---

There are some stray thoughts concerning this story that I may include in a separate post. Besides those, I have one story left to examine, one Thing left to Think On from the Book of Mormon. After that, who knows?

Come What May, and Love It

Hello again, and welcome back to Keep Moving Forward! My apologies for missing last week; it was rather busy setting up the baptismal service of some very close friends of mine (Pictures Here!)

While thinking about what I might write about next, I read over a talk from a previous General Conference that struck a chord (what is General Conference? Find out here). The talk, entitled "Come What May, and Love It," was written by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles who has now since passed. The power and truth in his words are palpable.

So, without further ado, the talk! (For the written version, go here)



As Elder Wirthlin summed it up,

"As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, 'Come what may, and love it.'" (But you should really listen to the entire talk)

I too testify that, although adversity and trials may come our way, facing them in the way that Elder Wirthlin says will make everything go smoother. As we look to laugh, see things eternally, wait patiently, and pray for support, we'll all be aided in our quest to Keep Moving Forward. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Well, a bit shorter this week, but I think that's alright. Onward!

-Elder Richmond

111: Love Yourself

Once again, I'm late to post! My sincerest apologies. I'm still figuring out what exactly I want to do with the blog and such, but things should even out as we go on.

So, today we come to the last part of 111, love yourself. Now, at first, that sounds awfully self-centered. I'm definitely not trying to promote narcissism here; we should not be so obsessed with ourselves that we forget to think of God or others. But, implied in the mandate to "love our neighbor as [ourselves]," it is implied that we do need to have some level of self-love. To put it mathematically (I'm a bit geeky like that),

Love for Neighbor = Love for Self

So, if we have no love for ourselves (or if Love for Self = 0), then

Love for Neighbor = 0

Which is bad.

---

Alright, now that we've spent more time than is probably necessary discussing how it's okay to love ourselves, let's apply the other ongoing theme of these posts: forgiveness. Just as we must seek forgiveness from God and be willing to forgive others, we must also be willing to forgive ourselves.

How does this work? Well, let's go back to the first story I shared, about saying something embarrassing on 9/11. Quite frankly, I messed up there. Sure, I was only about 8 at the time and I didn't completely understand what was going on, but I still get a bit embarrassed when I think about what happened. And, I've kept making similar mistakes, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, over the course of my life (I just did it this morning at the breakfast table). Now, I could start obsessing over these things. I could start thinking about them every day, focusing on how wrong I was and how things could have gone so much better if I'd have said something else. I could dwell on all the shame and remorse I feel. I could feel pretty lousy about myself in general.

Sound familiar? It's the same principle as the rosebush from last week. In fact, let's use another example from my life (someone's loving himself a bit too much here): in elementary school once, I stabbed a freshly sharpened pencil in to my index finger. How that happened, I have no idea, but one second I was holding the pencil in my right hand and the next it was stuck in my left. Instinctively, I shook the pencil out, breaking the lead and leaving some inside my finger. I promptly went to the bathroom to clean out the wound, but I suspect that some of the lead is still inside, especially since there's still a dark spot on my finger nearly 10 years later.

So, that was something that was self-inflicted, and it hurt, a lot. Not only did I injure myself, but I carry a reminder of it every day, probably for the rest of my life. But, what do I do about it?

I accept that I'm not perfect. I realize that sometimes things happen like that. I analyze what happened and make sure I don't do it again. And then, I move on. I Keep Moving Forward.

Whether it be stabbing ourselves with pencils or saying something we shouldn't or whatever else, we're all likely going to feel a bit ashamed of things we've done. But, just as we must recognize that others aren't perfect and seek to forgive them, we also need to recognize that we, too, make mistakes, and can be forgiven of them.

I've talked a lot about myself in this post, and I'm sorry for that, but I just have to express how much I know that this principle is true. I've lost sleep about things I've done before, about my imperfections. I've been a terrible critic of myself. But I've also felt the wonderful peace of mind and self-confidence that comes from letting things go, from forgiving myself. You can be your own worst enemy, but it feels a lot better to be your own best friend.

I know that God lives and loves us. I know that Jesus Christ atoned for all pain, self-inflicted or not. And I know that God wants us to love ourselves, imperfect though we may be, and that Jesus Christ knows how to help us move past our pain. I'm very thankful for the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ (info here. I had to get a Mormon.org link in there somewhere), that has let me feel more peace and love in my life. I say these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Well, thus concludes 111! Thanks for reading! I hope this has helped brighten your week, even if only a little bit.

Keep Moving Forward!

-Elder Richmond

111: Love Each Other

Welcome back! My apologies for being a day late. While we plan out every day as a missionary, sometimes even we get thrown curveballs and deviate from our plans in order to help those in need. But, we are all set for today.

I'll start out this portion of 111 with another story, this one much more recent. I was with another missionary, and he asked to borrow some shoe-shining supplies since we were staying in my apartment. I said that was perfectly fine. Using some materials from my kit, and some that a previous missionary had left behind, he shined his shoes. As we were leaving the apartment, I noted that he'd put some of the older missionary's supplies into a bag to take with him. I didn't have a problem with that. However, I also noticed a small buffering cloth in his bag that looked awfully like one of mine. I was a bit suspicious, but didn't jump to any conclusions until I was back at my apartment later, with another missionary. Sure enough, I checked my shoe-shining kit, and one of the cloths was missing.

And that really bugged me.

We'll come back to the story later.

So, going back to the original post, the second great commandment that Jesus taught us is that we love our neighbors (i.e. everyone around us) as we love ourselves. For some people, we find that very easy. For others, we find that very hard. They hurt us with their words and actions. They stress us out. In a perfect world (not this one), everyone would treat each other with love and kindness, and hurt feelings would not exist. That world, though, won't come for a while (although it will eventually come). In the meantime, we need to learn how we can keep living with people we'd rather not have anything to do with.

First, we need to understand that nobody is perfect. To bring back the scripture from last time, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Due to a lack of knowledge or understanding, or perhaps even because of malicious intentions, people are going to end up hurting us. So what do we do? Do we mourn our social injuries, constantly bringing back the hurt we've felt? Do we get angry, despising the person at fault?

Let's use a metaphor. Say you see a rosebush, and you stop to admire the flowers. As you go to touch the blossoms, though, a thorn pricks your thumb and sticks in it. What do you do? Do you stare at the wound, tears in your eyes, wishing for the pure, unhurt thumb you had before? Do you spitefully leave the thorn in the wound, using the pain to fuel your plans to take a chainsaw to the bush?

Or do you calmly take out the thorn, step inside to get a bandage, treat the hurt, and go back to looking at flowers?

We firstly can't wallow in self-pity, longing for the happy selves we were before we were hurt. Some people believe that the world would be better if nothing bad ever happened to us at all. We know, though, through the Book of Mormon, that pain and trials are part of this life, and they help us grow (See 2 Nephi 2:27). We also shouldn't let the offending words and actions become the focus of our lives. The wound will never heal if we refuse to take out the thorn, and we shouldn't get angry at the imperfect nature of the thornbush for hurting us.

What we should do is forgive. Recognize that nobody is perfect, and be willing to move on and keep associating with those who have harmed us. As we do so, we find that we are free, that we don't let the words or actions of others define us. As stated by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 2nd Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, "We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness" (See, "Of Regrets and Resolutions").

As well, God has commanded us to forgive, or to be merciful. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:7: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." He demonstrated this principle in the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (see Matthew 18:21-35). In short, since we all depend on God for mercy (as discussed last time), we must also be ready and willing to extend mercy to all of those around us, be they friend or foe.

I know this is a bit hard to swallow. But, as in my story about the shoe cloth, I've obsessed over the actions of another person, and it just doesn't make me feel good. There have been other circumstances as well, in which I've become so focused on what another person has done or said that it becomes hard for me to think of anything else. But I've found freedom and happiness through letting these things go. It is hard; I've prayed for a lot of strength at times to do this. But, in the end, the past is the past. A shoe cloth is just a shoe cloth, and we'll all feel a lot happier when we're willing to let it go.

I know that God lives and loves us. I know he wants to forgive us, and he wants us to forgive others. I know that as we do these things, a greater light and happiness will enter into our lives. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Well, just one more installment of 111! See you there next week (and hopefully on time)!

-Elder Richmond